Weeding Season Thoughts
I don't know about you, but it's become weeding season almost over night out here. In a week without the kiddo home I've found myself fully immersed in the work of pulling weeds by hand. In working on establishing a wildflower/herb hill on the old lava flow, it's becoming difficult to be able to both identify and bulk chop the weeds out. It's a tedious task that gets easier each time I go out to do it.
Lately in my life something has been leading to bits and pieces of the past creeping around my mind, not so much getting in the way but noticeably cluttering the headspace. Maybe it's the looming high school reunion I won't be attending, or knowing that even though it's in a different state I'm still going to end up being only a couple hours north of it while it's happening. It's made a strange mixture of choosing my present life working a market event over revisiting my past life as it all mingles just miles south of our airbnb for the weekend. No matter what it is in the air that's bringing it all back up lately, it's coincided with all these weeds creeping in and cluttering up my garden space, too.
The more I weed around my delicate poppies and fragile herb seedlings, the more I feel the old thoughts and feelings clearing away from all in my life that's new. It has me thinking a lot about how the more you weed the garden each week, the fewer weeds that come back each time. So maybe the more consistently we breathe out the thoughts that creep in from past lives, the fewer will creep back up again the next time a reunion or close-to-home visit comes up. My time on the coast was well spent tending to my mind weeds, so I had let my guard down a bit this season. The mind weeds caught me off guard almost as much as the cheat grass that went so quickly to seed this season.
All the weeding this last week has felt so much more satisfying than years past. I think a big part of it is that I'm still clearing my mind. I've been enjoying cultivating the projects happening behind the scenes this year, and part of tending them all has been that clearing of my mind. I'm still constantly learning and improving, and that means I'm still learning to release all of the past life worries and upsets. So with each clump of grass or prickly thistle I pull, I get to pull out an old hurt or sticky-feeling of regret along with it. That's been the most satisfying part of it all. As I face this upcoming trip back into my old neck of the woods, I feel clear-minded and comfortable in the way my present days play out. There are people I miss, and there are places I'm glad I outgrew. It's all been an adventure of a ride so far, but I'm learning which memories are the tender wildflowers trying to bloom and which ones are the weeds I still need to keep up with. But as my reunion year cycles around I am finding myself satisfied with where I am and where life is taking me, and I'm enjoying all I get to learn along the way.
